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May. 28th, 2010 | 10:50 pm

Lately I have felt so uninspired to write about myself. I guess I just feel like my personal life is so, unimportant?

At any rate. The semester is almost over, and I am looking forward to the break! My philosophy class turned out to be my favorite. It really challenged a lot of my beliefs. The class was split between two teachers, who are very different. I found myself upset when I realized that the teacher I really liked was a very right wing republican. I guess I just assumed I would never have anything in common with a person like that. However, the bottom line is he had some beliefs I very much agreed with. For instance, his view on moral relativism. Moral relativism (In case you're not familiar with it.) is the belief that the notion of moral right and wrong is impossible to define. Depending on where you live, and the culture you are a part of, your definition of right and wrong differs, making judgment null. At first, this philosophy is appealing. But all the while he's lecturing I can't help but think, "There are moral right and wrong's". For instance, slavery, female genital mutilation, oppression, etc. Now, according to a relativist, one cannot pass judgment, and I just don't buy it. Later in his lectures he revealed he didn't personally agree with the relativists point of view. There it was. I agreed with a right wing republican. Kind of humbling.

The new eating program has worked well for me. I lost about 20 pounds. I didn't realize until I started losing the weight how unhealthy I was. I have felt uncomfortable and unattractive for a long time. I am starting to feel good about myself. Sometimes I feel like I am getting a little too happy with the weight loss. But the bottom line is I am healthier, and that is a good thing.

At the end of June I am heading to Ann Arbor for at least two weeks! I am so excited. My mother is organizing this social forum which will lead discussions on capitalism, health care, immigration, and much more. I am going to help her out with that, and just enjoy myself. I can't wait to walk through downtown, eat at Earthen Jar, see my friends, and hang out with my family.

I think that is about all the semi-interesting stuff going on with me. I hope whoever still reads this is doing very well.

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April Fools!

Apr. 1st, 2010 | 02:35 am

So, yeah, it has been a while....

I really don't know when I last posted, or what it was about, and I don't want to check, so forgive me if I repeat something. (That was a long sentence!) 

So, I'm in school full time, and still unemployed. (Happily unemployed!) But still looking for something part time. This semester has been rather, um, dull? I'm taking some classes that I don't want to be taking, like speech, and they're just very boring. I do, however, like my philosophy class a lot, and my usual singing stuff.

I joined the South Central Farmers CSA, which is very fun and cool. After seeing the documentary about what happened to them, I was excited to find out I could actually support them! (The film is The Garden. VERY good!) I also started a rather strict diet. Honestly, I really want to lose some weight. So far I've shed 15 pounds! I'm eating all vegan, very little oil, very little starch, etc. It is hard! I like eating meat and dairy! But alas, I find omitting them from my diet has helped me lose weight, and feel really good in general. I also weened myself off the copious amounts of caffeine I was consuming. Which is very good. The first week was, oh god, miserable. But now I am having ice tea in the morning. So, yes good. I've been cooking pretty much all of my meals. The CSA box has been neat because I've been forced to try new foods. We've had mostly greens, which is good, but I'm looking forward to getting some summer produce.

My folks came into town for the anti war march on the seven year anniversary of the war in Iraq. I can't believe its been that long!  I feel so frustrated and helpless. I guess I'm doing what I can, right?  The whole health care debacle has also been frustrating. Having parents who are doctors, and who are passionate about universal health care, I definitely get another perspective on the issue. I guess I feel like the best thing to come out of this bill is that people are thinking and talking about health care reform. In my opinion.

Aside from them coming into town for that, their stay was full of awesomeness, as usual. We just cooked, and hung out at the "Echo Park House" (where my brother Travis lives, and Dylan used to live.). The one really odd thing was my ex-boyfriend was also in town, and staying at that house. See, Dylan's best friend, Chris, lives at that house now. And Chris' best friend is Pat. My ex. And Pat and I broke up without incident. We had no badness. So seeing him just threw me through a loophole. He's really funny and kind. Shaun was kind of absent during the visit, busy doing a lot of music stuff, so I ended up hanging out with Pat quite a bit. It was just strange. It's clear we still have chemistry. I guess those things are hard to get past sometimes. He was the last man I was with before Shaun. Maybe it's just pure pheromones. Who knows.

Shaun has been really busy lately. He's trying really hard to get a lot of music stuff accomplished. Which is good. But, we don't get to spend too much time together. I was really hoping that some time during my spring break we could go on a little drive up to Northern California. I've wanted to see the Redwoods for SO LONG. But, alas, no. I suppose we don't have to money anyway. Oh well.

I thought I had a lot more to say, but for now, I don't. So, good night!

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British Columbia Christmas

Jan. 2nd, 2010 | 01:46 pm

The Family

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A New Year

Dec. 31st, 2009 | 12:40 am

Wow. It isn't even New Years and I'm already starting new.

I did it. I quit my job. It just wasn't worth it anymore. Kelly has a really unpleasant personality. I think it's just her unhappiness, but I can't waste time caring about her. She has repeatedly treated me, as well as my fellow employees, with such disrespect I am just over it. I am tired of being criticized for errors she makes. I am tired of being belittled. I am just tired.

Alas, here I am. Another New Year unemployed. Two years ago I had just quit American Apparel. Something about New Years makes me take plunges. I feel at peace. Strangely. I know financially things are going to be tough, but I just have to accept and move forward.

Maybe I can have a little break before I get on the job hunt. Maybe? A few days???

Well, my Christmas was AMAZING. So worth all the drama. Did I mention why I quit? On my last day of my trip Kelly sent me an email telling me she was cutting my hourly wage by $3. And my hours. That's why I resigned. She was thrilled to mention I would not be eligible for unemployment. Haha. What a woman. Real gem.

Anyway, yes, Christmas good. Looking forward to new beginnings.

Happy New Year to you all!


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Glorious Dawn

Dec. 16th, 2009 | 08:49 pm

I found this video so beautiful. I am finishing my astronomy class, and it was especially interesting, tying it all together. I do think it is touching, regardless of ones specific interests. I found it calming. Please watch it!

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It's been a while....

Sep. 27th, 2009 | 01:52 pm

So, life has been a bit crazy! In fact, I didn't feel like I could update because it was just too much to go through. But, I will try to now.

Ok, so I went to MI on the 24th of August. On the eve before my departure Shaun and I got into our worst fight, ever. It's about really personal and complicated issues, and they just came to a head. Shaun said some really terrible things to me, and I thought we were over. I spent the night at my brothers, and when I came by our place the next morning when I was supposed to leave, Shaun was still being awful. So, I left CA thinking Shaun and I were over. That plane ride was really fun! Not. When I got to MI I was clearly upset, and I told my mom about everything. Normally I don't divulge personal aspects of my life to her, but I did. This kind up dug my grave.

Shaun texted me the day I got there saying he new we'd figure a way to resolve things. I didn't know what to think. Even if I wanted to work things out, my mom was adamantly against it. And I know it's my life, but I have issues about pleasing my mom. So, I spent my trip just kind of wigging out. I would go out late at night and just walk the streets of Ann Arbor alone, thinking. Shaun and I talked, and I told him what I needed to feel ok about our relationship, he told me he wanted to be with me and would do what it takes. All the while I'm telling my mom that it's over with me and Shaun because I don't want to upset her. Eventually I went home (back to CA) and when I got here Shaun and I just talked and decided to work it out. But the shitty thing is I am living this double life. Single to my parents, committed to Shaun.

I told my brother Dylan what was up. I told Travis later. Then, I slowly started to talk to my mom, sort of easing her into it all. I still haven't told her outright. And Shaun is super hurt by this whole thing, I kind of understand. He feels like my parents will never like him again. Ugh. I am never talking to my mom about personal stuff EVER again.

In the mean time, school started. I'm taking the most classes thus far into my school career. I actually went through all the processes and got a lot of financial aid. So, my classes are free, plus I get $800 each semester for the next two semesters. So, that's great. My classes are good, I dropped one and switched one. I'm taking a human sexuality psych class, astronomy, an astronomy lab, political science, musical theatre, chamber chorale, modern dance, and yoga. I think thats everything... I really like most of them. My political science teacher is crazy in a good way. And day 1 of the psych class my teacher said "cunt, cock, and ass fuck", so I knew it would be awesome. It's a lot of work though! (Big surprise!) But seriously, I have to study a lot. No more messing around. It's homework and bed for me! Plus, no internet at home means I have to do a lot at school. Which is mostly good. I am going to try to do some here at work in a minute...

I've been feeling more politically inclined again. I guess it's just that so much wrong doing is going on, it's hard to sit by idly. I feel let down by Obama. I mean, more troops into Afghanistan? Really? Trying to propel a war in Iran, slowly but surely letting the hope of universal healthcare dwindle and die away...Reinstating the awful and inhumane embargo against Cuba, not closing Guantanamo Bay, further support of Israel and their occupation of Palestine...I mean the list just goes on and on. I don't know why I'm surprised. I mean, any capitalist government will never put the needs of people above the need to acquire more wealth and power. It's totally impossible. I've said it before, and I will say it again, there is no such thing as a kind and gentle capitalism.

Speaking of capitalism, did anyone out there watch Hugo Chavez on Larry King? He kicked Larry's ass. I mean, youtube it. It's was great. If they were trying to promote more anti communist propaganda by interviewing him, they failed. Wah, wah.

I think that it all. Much love!

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As per request

Jul. 5th, 2009 | 05:02 pm

10 things you may not know about me:

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Jun. 28th, 2009 | 04:48 pm

I think I'm finally getting over this nasty cold I've had for a couple weeks. Whenever I can't sing, I get depressed. Singing is something that I do so much it really bothers me when I can't. Especially when I am sort-of singing then all of a sudden my voice just drops out. I'm trying to make noise, but nothing comes out. I'm just glad I got sick now, instead of when all my singing classes start. At the beginning of the semester I always feel like I've forgot how to do everything. Speaking of singing classes, I am sad to say I don't think I can sing in the choir this semester. Boo. We're supposed to travel to San Francisco (which I've never been) to sing at MACCC. (Music Association of CA Community Colleges) So, it would mean I would miss a few days of school, and with the academic load I have next semester, I just don't know if I can do it. :(

I just filed my FASFA application, I really hope I can get some grants/financial aid/loans whatever it takes. Going into debt is something I've accepted. School = debt. Yesterday was Dylan's 29th birthday. It was a bit...dramatic. Thanks to Travis, as usual. I am not going into any details, but I will say he is such a narcissistic person. Dylan was in fine form. Very drunk by the time I left. Searching for his "secret stash". Hahaha. I am happy he had a good birthday. I gave him a water bottle from work. He got into CalStateLA, so I thought it would be nice for him. I love my family, but they can sure drive me nuts.

I got a hair cut. The first in over two years. My ends were a little raggedy. I am happy with the results. I used to only let my fabulous friend Vito cut my hair. He is SO good. But I moved, then he moved. I had to accept the fact that I am not going to see him for a long time. I miss Vito. Every few months I would sit in his incense smelling apartment bathroom while we chatted and he would cut my hair.

Work is SO slow. Oh god. I mean, our business is down, significantly. I am glad I'm only here a couple days a week. Otherwise I'd be so depressed. I mean, all I do is wander around a mostly empty store dusting. Then I water plants to escape the heat, and then I sit at a computer. I get so bored of the internet though. That's why I don't update much. I am so sick of the computer.

That's all I got for now.


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Get your shimmy on!

Jun. 19th, 2009 | 05:12 pm

I've been taking Belly Dance classes! It's so much fun. There are all these beautiful, curvaceous, sensuous women shimmying and shaking all over the place. It's really challenging, and I'm sweating within a few minutes. The woman who teaches is amazing. She can shimmy, tummy roll, snake arm, and do foot work all at the same time. The hard part is keeping my shoulders still, the shimmy is all in the hips and booty. It's six hours a week, and I'm hoping to gain some more flexibility and strength. I've been practicing a lot, and Shaun doesn't really mind watching.

Not too much else going on. I'm enjoying my time off from school. I got straight A's again. Whew! I have to admit, I am proud of myself. I have worked really hard, and it has paid off. I really love learning, and I love the community I've grown a part of.

I have to reiterate how much I love watching beautiful women dance. Women who have bellies (ranging in size) and aren't afraid to show them off. Work it!


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Jun. 7th, 2009 | 03:17 pm

I'm done! Woohoo! Another semester of hard work accomplished. I think I did well in my classes, we shall see. I've already registered for fall classes, I want to make sure I get into the classes I want. I'm registered for something like 19 credits. Now, I am probably going to have to drop a few, but I am just signing up for anything and everything I might want to take. This is the first semester I have been able to go full time. I am so excited!

So, last night Shaun and I watched "A lot like Love" with Ashton Kutcher and Amanda Peet. Dorky, I know. However, it's almost all shot in MY neighborhood! Like, the coffee shop I go to, shops I walk by everyday. Granted, a lot has changed since that movie came out. And, there are all these trees that we no longer have. (Which is sad.) But we were having fun watching it. I mean, usually movies in LA are in Beverly Hills/West Hollywood. Not Silverlake! It was neato.

I have a new co-worker, Margeaux. She's nice. She's my old co-workers friend. When Dez said she was quitting she felt bad because she new I was trying to work less, so she found someone to replace her. Good deal for me. Kelly has been all good- moody the past few days due to a new, strapping, young lad in her life. Kelly should always be getting laid, she's so much more fun to be around! I suppose the most of us are. Speaking of... Vanessa finally found a place to live. Shaun and I were starting to go a little crazy. I mean, Vanessa is really a pretty good "house guest". I put "house guest" in quotes merely because she wasn't exactly invited, nor did she ever really ask us if she could stay. She just sort of, crashed, for a month. About a week ago she found out she got excepted into a music conservatory in Miami, and she starts in the fall. I was a little worried she would want to stay until then, but our friend Nola has a spare room she needs to fill, so until Vanessa leaves she's going to live there. Good deal.

I don't really remember what I said in my last entry, so forgive me if I repeat myself. But, we got a new bed! Yesss! It's a keetsa mattress, we sell them where I work. Anyway, it's so nice. Inflatable mattress=not comfy. Keetsa mattress=dreamy comfyness. It's so nice to get a good nights sleep. Plus, Shaun is a big man and having a queen as opposed to a full is a nice luxury. We just need a frame!


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